A Question From A Girl

I recently received an email from a young lady concerning my dating advice...

QUESTION FROM A WOMAN:

Hi -

Must admit, my initial sign-up was to see exactly what my 'ex' was reading up on once we had split up.

I was surprisingly pleased to find that much of what your newsletters entailed was pretty darned accurate.

None of the 'go for it, she's putty anyway' garbage that some of the other "guys" out there seem to think is appropriate behaviour for single men in approaching single women.

So having said that, I'm now curious. You still write your newsletters (3 weeks into my receiving them) as if you're a single man. If this is the case, is it because you've not found anyone that stimulates your "self" enough to pursue a longer term relationship, or do you continue to present yourself as such in order to present a 'united front' in a man's pursuit of successfully approaching women, even though you yourself have entered a mutually pleasing relationship already?

Just curious,

Pan

MY RESPONSE:

Are you asking because you want to date me?

=)

Here's the thing...

I don't write from a "single man's" perspective, nor do I try to put up a "unified front" for the benefit of all me out there.

I write from the perspective of a man trying to UNDERSTAND women.

See, this is key...

The real problems that people run into with male/female dynamics is that they don't understand where the other person is coming from.

Women are a mystery to most men.

Men are a mystery to most women.

Its not until we try to understand the opposite sex that we can start having real success with them.

Back in my "lovable loser" days, this was something that was COMPLETELY foreign to me.

Seriously, I had NO CLUE about how women operated. I was so busy focused on my own needs, ideas, and feelings, that I never bothered to understand things from the other side.

Many men fall into this trap.

When a guy approaches a girl, and its obvious he's interested, and he doesn't bother to try to understand the mental space she's coming from, and he blurts out:

"I like you. Wanna go out sometime?"

He's demonstrating a COMPLETE lack of understanding about the woman he's approaching.

And you know what? That turns women off.

But the same guy will then turn around and despair about how "unlucky" he is with chicks.

But the rub is this:

LUCK HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

Its about understanding the woman you're approaching.

What is she thinking?

What is she feeling?

What is she responding to?

What is turning her off?

These are all VERY IMPORTANT factors in being successful in relationships and dating.

This is because true success comes from creating powerful connections between a man and a woman.

Love, sex, relationships... none of them can happen without SOME FORM of connection between two people.

If you lack understanding, it is very hard to form these kinds of connections.

But if you understand the underlying process of creating connections, things like active disinterest, strategic flirting, powerful confidence, covert openers, and various other things I talk about in The Art Of Approaching...

You can achieve INCREDIBLE success.

And what's more, it can happen FAST.

So if you're serious about getting good with women, you really need to check out my book the Art Of Approaching.

In it, you'll find all the best strategies for creating powerful connections with women.

Check it out by clicking the banner below:




Or, if you feel you want to step things up a bit and REALLY see some results, check out my advanced multimedia course.

In it, I go really IN DEPTH into certain strategies and tactics that can supercharge your love life.

You can find out more about it by clicking the link below:

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Do it now.

Talk soon,

Joseph Matthews

Four Types Of Women To Avoid

There's an old saying: "You can't judge a book by its cover." This idea is certainly true when it comes to women. Some girls can be beautiful, intelligent, and kind on the surface, but all that goes out the window once you get to know them. This is true for men, as well, but women fall guilty to this all of the time.

In other words, they're crazy!

Unfortunately, most guys don't figure this out until they're overly involved in the relationship. If the girl's positive qualities outweigh her negative ones, a man may want to work things out. After all, no one's perfect, right? On the other hand, it never hurts to do a little research.

The following are four types of girls you should stay away from. If it sounds like you're reading about your girlfriend, you might want to think about taking some time off.

The Clingy Woman

The name says it all. Clingy women have to be in constant contact with you, otherwise they'll lose it. Ten minutes after dropping her off, she's blowing up your inbox with texts or voice messages. She wants to spend every waking moment with you, and before you know it, you're finding it difficult to breath. She needs you in order to feel good about herself, and that's a bad trait on its own!

As soon as you see any indication of clingy behavior, you must lay your foot down (nicely, of course). Tell her that while you enjoy spending time with her, you also have other obligations, such as work and friends. Don't promise to call her if you can't keep that promise, and encourage her to spend time with her friends as well. If, after it's all said and done, she reacts badly, drop her.

The Jealous Girl

Many guys end up paying for the sins of ex-boyfriends. If she was cheated on, she'll assume you're going to cheat on her too. It's not fair, but it's a problem that doesn't seem to be going away either. To prevent the past from repeating itself, she clings to your side. The presence of any other female in your life makes her see red, and things really get ugly when she starts checking your voice messages and emails.

If you decide to stick it out with this type of girl, you need to have a heart-to-heart with her. Tell her how bad it makes you feel that she doesn't trust you, and if she can't get past her insecurities, you don't see how the relationship will ever grow.

Don't apologize for your female friends or co-workers; just make it clear that there will always be other girls in your life, but she's the only one you want romantically.

Once you've discussed the situation with her, the ball's in her court. If she doesn't wise up, it may be best to move on.

Your Future Wife
Some girls have a predetermined sense of romantic destiny that's the result of watching too many Lifetime movies. From the moment this girl meets you, she envisions wedding bells. You, on the other hand, work at a much slower pace.

If it were me, I'd end this relationship as soon as possible. True love takes months (even years) to develop, so any girl who's overly eager to find it is just dreaming out loud and looking to live out the fantasies portrayed in Hugh Grant films.

Some guys, however, truly have feelings for the girl, and they want to see if the relationship will work out. If so, gently tell her that you have similar hopes for the future, but you want to take one day at a time. Whatever you do, don't set a wedding date!

It's not uncommon for men to take drastic steps against their "future wives." They talk about hating weddings or never wanting children in an effort to squash their girlfriends' dreams of matrimony. Doing this will only upset her. If she's accepted the fact that you want to move slow, drop the subject. Don't intentionally make her feel bad.

The Squirrels

The three characters above are nothing compared to the real crazies. These are the women who park their cars outside of your house at night, cry if you don't look at them just right, and stalk your female friends. In other words, they're two steps away from a restraining order.

You ever watch a squirrel? It moves slight, quick, movements, similar to the tick of a psychopath. This is why I call them squirrels. They remind me of women who are all over the map, unpredictable, and just plain crazy.

When talking to unbalanced women, try hard to maintain your temper. Approach the situation like a bomb that's set to go off, and you're a member of the bomb squad. To be honest, the best advice I can give when it comes to mentally unstable women is to end the relationship, which is often easier said than done. In some cases, you really may need that restraining order.

If you suspect that your girl may fit any of the above categories, it's your call on whether or not to continue the relationship. The decision to stay or leave depends largely on your feelings for the girl, as well as how much crap you're willing to put up with. If, after trying the tactics discussed in this article, the situation doesn't improve, I'd call it quits. Move on to a more fulfilling relationship.

Jesse

How To Attract Women

Attracting women is easier said than done. Advice from so-called seduction gurus has men everywhere utilizing techniques that get them nowhere. A lot of these moves are nothing short of dating mistakes. All they do is take advantage of guys with low self esteem who are desperately looking for ways on attracting women.

I think comedian Chris Rock put it best when he said that a woman knows if she's gonna sleep with you within the first five minutes of meeting you. If you're frustrated at the thought of this, don't be. If anything, you should be grateful that a women gives you any time at all! Also, five minutes is plenty of time to fulfill your goal of attracting women.

The bad news is that you could be making mistakes in how you interact with women. The good news is that you can fix these mistakes. If you want to seduce the opposite sex, you must eliminate everything that is holding you back. That includes all the negative global beliefs you have about women, what women could get you, and also the fear of rejection.

The following are four of the most common dating mistakes made by men. Fix these early and your love life will change dramatically.

Lying

While a white lie here and there is harmless, repetitive lying will only damage your credibility. There's a universal law that states "what goes around, comes around," and lying certainly qualifies.

People lie to avoid the discomfort that goes along with being honest. However, nothing is worse than getting caught in a lie, so be truthful at all times. If anything, don't give up too much information about yourself in the beginning stages of attracting women. The less you say, the less that can be used against you. It also makes you mysterious, and mysterious is very sexy.

The biggest instance of lying to women involves dating more than one girl. Rather than juggle partners, let each girl know that she's one of many in your life. If she's okay with sharing you, great; if not, at least you'll avoid an outburst upon being discovered.

Bad Character

In life and love, you're only as good as your word. A man who respects himself and others is of high character and very appealing to women.

Don't say one thing, and do something else. If you make a promise, keep it. Be confident in all that you do, but consider the feelings of others. Women find strong character irresistible!

Low Confidence

There's nothing sexier than a man who's confident. Do not seek the approval of others; this will only show your weak side. If you think highly of yourself, women will too.

Some guys go overboard when it comes to confidence, opting instead to act like jerks. True confidence is solid in and of itself. A man who possesses it does not feel the need to boast. He lets his accomplishments speak for themselves.

Playing Chicken

It is not uncommon nowadays for men to sit idle, failing to approach women. They wait for women to make the first move, only to be disappointed. If you want to improve your game, you must understand one truth:

Women rarely make the first move.

As natural hunters, it's the men who must do the chasing. Women expect it; they want it! It's understandable that you might be nervous about talking to a girl for the first time, but you'll never know unless you try. The more you practice, the more confident you'll become.

In the beginning, if you are absolutely terrified of rejection, don't try and "pick up" women in the beginning...just approach them. Then test out all the tips you've learned on attracting women and all will fall into place. Even at this stage when you're "practicing" and don't have many expectations, you'll be surprised at how effective this information is when you're attracting women and getting numbers.

Final Thoughts

The only thing worse than making a mistake is not learning from it. By recognizing your shortcomings when approaching women, you can focus on how to fix them. As soon as you do, you'll be amazed at the difference in your seduction efforts.

Hi Everyone!

I needed an outlet to write random thoughts and experience I have during the run of a day and blogging made the most sense.

Unlike my website, ApproachAndSeduce.com, my blog will feature more personal interests than just seduction.

Looking forward to blogging!

Wishing all of you the very best,

Jesse Allen